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Zelda, Overwatch are top Pornhub searches for 2017


My aren’t you a bunch of sly dogs. Pornhub, a website dedicated to the distribution of pornographic videos, is onto all you porn lovers and your sexy, sneaky ways.

In a nearly catastrophically complete year-in-review post, the company has laid bare all of our deepest desires. Many of the takeaways are mundane. Women enjoy celebrity sex tapes and lesbians. Men enjoy MILFs and “step mom.” But both sexes exhibited an uptake in videos about fidget spinners, a disconcerting if not obvious change in the global id.

Thanks to Pornhub’s unique position at the junction between our keyboards and our right hands, studies like these also help us understand home computer and mobile usage on a global scale. After all, we all tend to enjoy our pornography on our personal devices.

Android and iOS are nearly tied in their usage as porn delivery vessels, while Windows wins in the desktop OS war. Chrome is the most popular browser followed by Internet Explorer. Edge and Safari share a middling 8 percent of fapster activity. The Xbox and PlayStation are two reliable porn systems, and even the Nintendo 3DS got a hearty 1 percent.

Interestingly, the celebrity searches portion of the report showed deep, expected interest in Kim Kardashian, but also YouTube gamers like SSSniperWolf. This move from macro-celebrity to micro should mean some interesting times ahead as everyone with a Twitch channel will run to do a sex tape to raise viewership. It’s also important to note that folks searched for noodz of D.Va from Overwatch and Nintendo’s Zelda, something that should give us all pause as we wait for the inevitable heat death of the universe.

Porn will always be with us, and Pornhub, for their part, have a deep and fascinating window into our viewing habits. The power of Pornhub’s tracking mechanisms — and they are watching everything you do (anonymously, we assume) — is that it gives a perfect picture of our kinks, our desires, and our human foibles. Failing to embrace new media was the death of the old. Luckily Pornhub is giving new media and its attendant tools the bear hug it deserves.


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