Oreo is at it again, messing with something that should not be messed with. And now they’re testing out an avocado flavor. Yes, avocado, the hipster condiment. Breakfast avocado toast, guacamole, the California roll, and now an avocado Oreo. Oreo is kind of like the George Lucas of cookies, taking something that was once so legendary and great and then singlehandedly ruining everything that made it so special in the first place, violating taste buds the world over. Never mind Pumpkin Spice Oreos or Swedish Fish Oreos, its time for the avocado Oreo.
Oreo has clearly run out of steam in the creative department so they have taken to social media as Buzzfeed has reported to have Oreo fans come up with the latest trash for your mouth. The contest is ongoing, but Oreo has already whipped up some of these abominations and sent them to fans for testing. We don’t allow animal testing anymore, but it’s ok for Oreo to test their products on willing humans? The “Wonder Vault” as Oreo calls it makes the demented cookies and shares them in a limited edition bag for the creators, giving them a taste of their own medicine.
The ultimate goal for Oreo is to find the next big cookie flavor to end up in stores and so far avocado is a frontrunner along with coffee (really?), bacon, kettle corn, and even glazed donut flavor. There are even a few that actually sound kind of edible like the raspberry Danish or the nut n’ honey. Hell, even millennial pink even sounds kind of tasty, but rest assured it’s probably made from all natural vegan flavorings that might be too much for some older Oreo fans to even understand. The contest will run for a few more weeks so there’s no telling what kind of flavors that we’ll see next.
The avocado Oreo does have some fans, believe it or not (because of course). People who hate life and think that Oreos are too sweet and cause genetic deformities are claiming that the avocado cookie will do wonders for human well-being and early childhood development. Hopefully the avocado Oreo never sees the inside of a grocery store… I can picture it now, avocado Oreo toast with a sprinkles of bacon Oreo dust on top served in places that sell nerd beers and nerd food. The end is near.
We can only hope that these Oreos never make it past the prototype stage, but it seems highly likely that the future will have bacon and avocado Oreos sitting on the shelf next to each other, living together in perfect harmony like ebony and ivory. The Phantom Menace of Oreos are coming and there’s nothing we can do to stop them, so it’s best to just ignore them and forget that they ever existed in the first place like birthday cake Oreos and golden Oreos and whatever else they’re trying to give us. Check out some pictures of the new fan-created monstrosities below.
— Food & Wine (@foodandwine) June 30, 2017
— Jessica Segarra (@TheNoviceChef) June 14, 2017
— Maryanne Steidinger (@msteidinger) June 20, 2017