Blimey ‘O Riley. Dani Dyer, daughter of Danny ‘I’m fucking Danny Dyer’ Dyer, has confirmed she’s been in talks about fronting a reality show with her dad. Are you ‘avin’ a giraffe, mate? Probably not, as I can see this actually becoming a thing. To be fair, Danny’s going to need something to do now that his EastEnders alter-ego, Mick Carter, has been banged up for shooting the show’s resident bald baddie, Stuart Highway.
Elsewhere, rejuvenated man band Take-That have announced they’ll be hitting the road again in 2019 for a 30th anniversary Greatest Hits tour, minus Robbie Williams. Still, Rick Astley’s the support act, so it’s not all bad, right? Right?????!!1?
This is a tad shocking. I mean, launching a week after Spider-Man isn’t exactly going to do you any favours, but Tomb Raider is a brand that should be strong enough to pull in the punters on its own merit. Apparently not anymore. While the dip in physical sales for Lara’s latest outing can presumably be offset by an uptake in digital copies moved – times have changed since 2013, after all – it still doesn’t paint a pretty picture. Ever more eye-wincing is the fact Shadow only just managed to top Rise of the Tomb Raider’s opening performance, and that game was initially only released on Xbox One. It’s not as if Square Enix hasn’t been busy marketing the game, either. Maybe it’s time to have Lara holster her pistols and hang up her grappling hook for a couple of years.
Speaking of Spidey, it’s now Sony’s fastest-selling first-party game of all time. The power of Marvel, eh?
Is anyone really surprised by this? Nostalgia is a massive money-maker at the moment; if it’s not remasters of old games, it’s mini versions of classic consoles. To be honest, I’m shocked Sony didn’t jump on this bandwagon sooner. PlayStation Classic has a lot of potential, to be fair, and the list so far does feature some proper greats, including Final Fantasy VII and Tekken 3. Not bad. With 20 games promised, there’s plenty of legroom for both some obvious and esoteric gems in the roster – providing licensing issues don’t cock things up, that is. For every Resident Evil, Gran Turismo, and Tomb Raider, let’s see a TOCA, Pandemonium, and Vagrant Story, eh?
While I’ve never been much of a Dead Rising fan (the series took the piss and was a bit too irreverent at times for me), the news that 158 people have lost their jobs as a result of Capcom Vancouver shutting its doors is massively gutting. The team are a talented bunch, and while it’s been a case of diminishing returns for the zombie-slaying franchise the past few years (Frank’s Big Package was pretty naff), Dead Rising still had its fans and was capable of so much more. It’s even more of a shame considering it was heavily implied – though never officially confirmed – that a new game in the series was in development at Vancouver at the time of its closure. With Capcom now focusing on its Japanese-made properties, it leaves the future of the series worryingly ambiguous.
Poor PS Vita – it never really had a chance did it? Between the rising ubiquity of smartphone gaming in the early 2010s to the fact Sony themselves didn’t really get behind it as much as they should have done, the pocket-sized powerhouse was destined to play second fiddle to Ninty. Pity, too, as it had cracking potential and the few first-party games we did get were fantastic; Tearaway, Killzone: Mercenary, and Uncharted: Golden Abyss were great, and wouldn’t look out of place on a home console. Unlike the PSP, however, it just didn’t have those massive exclusives. God of War, Gran Turismo, GTA, Resident Evil, and more all missed out on dedicated PS Vita incarnations, which pretty much put the nail in the coffin. Still, it will forever remain a great retro factory for me, as I’ve stuffed it full of PSOne Classics.
Given the success of Grand Theft Auto Online, it was inevitable that Rockstar would be going down a similar route with Red Dead Redemption 2. We’ve got the main campaign out first on October 26, followed by the online component a month later – just like with GTA 5. It sounds like Red Dead Online will be following a similar template to its modern-day, crime-riddled multiplayer stablemate; namely an ever-evolving world backed up by new events, unlockables, and content to keep players tucking in for years. GTA Online is still going strong nearly five years after launch, so there’s absolutely no reason why we can’t expect the same from Red Dead 2’s offering; Rockstar will be milking this one for a while, for sure.
Oh, and we’re also getting a first-person view for the main game – yet another thing it has in common with Rockstar’s crime caper.
Chatter on a Nintendo 64 Classic Edition has been gathering pace for a while now, although this is the strongest evidence we have so far that Ninty is looking to go all Honey, I Shrunk the Kids on its chunky 64-bit machine. Okay, so nothing’s been confirmed, but with the NES and SNES Classis out already, why not complete the trilogy of cartridge-based hardware? In terms of games, you’ve got stuff like Super Mario 64, Mario Kart 64, Lylat Wars, Super Smash Bros., and Paper Mario as obvious first-party choices, but it remains to be seen if licensing issue will prevent Rare juggernauts like Banjo-Kazooie, GoldenEye, Perfect Dark, Donkey Kong 64, and others from hitting the pint-sized system. Still, seriously, a N64 mini? Take my money, folks.
If you ask Joe Public what Alone in the Dark is, they’d probably think you’re talking about that kids TV show starring the Midnight Society. I don’t blame them either, as it’s a classic. Still, the former Infogrames-developed survival horror series was equally as important to the genre as Capcom’s Resident Evil. No, it didn’t leave as much of an imprint on the mainstream consciousness as the zombie-mashing series, but it laid the groundwork for what both of these franchises – and their numerous imitators, for that matter – would do to perfect and evolve the paradigm over the next 20+ years. It’s just a pity things didn’t quite work out for Alone in the Dark, as it’s been a decade since we saw a proper game on shelves (don’t even talk about the abomination that was AitD: Illumination). I’ve got a massive soft spot for the series, and I’m hopeful that, at last, we may see a revival of the brand in the not-too-distant future. A back-to-basics reboot would be just the ticket, so let’s hope THQ Nordic has some plans bubbling away.
Happy weekend all!