Capcom has always been a forward-looking company, looking to find new markets and stay on trend — or, as the kids say, ‘on fleek’! Hahaha! Following on from the announcement of a blood scented candle, Capcom is pleased to announce a full range of Resident Evil themed homewares. These will eventually be coming to department stores you already know and love like Debenhams, Harrods, and House of Fraser, as well as some 24 hour shopping channels where a blank-eyed former children’s TV presenter, only here because they got hooked on the adrenaline rush of live TV, tells you desperately that there are only 50 candles left and the phones are ringing off the hook.
Rejoice knowing that you, too, can tell your friends that your home looking like a dilapidated shitheap and smelling like an abattoir is actually a choice.
Resident Evil Blood, Sweat and Fears 4D Candle™ – £14.99
Why not fill your home with the timeless and enchanting scent of blood? This season’s must have aroma in a handy and very portable candle. Reportedly already extremely popular in all the most fashionable homes, can you afford not to get several of the Resident Evil Blood, Sweat and Fears 4D™* candles, for every room in your home? This product will definitely not be incompatible with pets.
Don’t take our word for it, hear it straight from the company we’ve partnered with: “We’d even suggest that using the Blood, Sweat and Fears 4D Candle is the definitive way to experience the game… “
Resident Evil Potpourri™ – £9.99
The next in our new range of home scents is an exclusive Rotting Meat scented potpourri. This comes in a range of specially selected meats to leave out on your table, requiring no input from you — and unlike other potpourri, the Resident Evil Potpourri™ actually increases in intensity over time! Available in chicken, beef, lamb, king prawn, and Mixed*
King Prawn Resident Evil Potpourri™ and Mixed Resident Evil Potpourri™ priced at £11.99
Resident Evil 16 Piece Pre-Broken Dinnerware Set™ – £149.99
Have you ever attended a Greek wedding and thought “This is great, but I wish I could take those smashed plates home — they’d look great in my kitchen”? We’ve all been there. Now Capcom has the answer to your prayers in the form of an elegant fine bone china dinnerware set that’s already been chipped, smashed, cracked, and otherwise broken. Consisting of four dinner plates, four side plates, four soup bowls and four mugs (approx.).
Resident Evil Moth-eaten Throw Cushions™ – £14.99 (each)
Pay more for less and dress your furniture in classic déshabillé style with these cushions, Stored in an old wardrobe for a minimum of 14 months each until the cover is threadbare, each cushion comes with at least two dead moths. Impress your friends with the appearance of being from old money when really you spunk away far too much.
Resident Evil Moth-eaten Throw Cushions™ must be ordered a minimum of three at a time.
Frequently bought together: Resident Evil Zero Thread Count Bed Linen™, Resident Evil Broken Splintered Dining Chair™
Resident Evil Lighting Solutions Half Power Naked Lightbulbs™ – £24.99
Achieve mood lighting as well as style with Resident Evil Lighting Solutions Half Power Naked Lightbulbs™. Light shades are expensive and unnecessary, and nobody has their lights turned up all the way these days! Decorate your home with lightbulbs that can’t get any more powerful than a gently glowly filament, for that dilapidated home meets Urban Outfitters look. Resident Evil Lighting Solutions Half Power Naked Lightbulbs™ will randomly explode to provide darkness with a convenient jump scare, keeping you permanently on edge.
Frequently bought together: Resident Evil Constantly Flickering Lanterns™; Resident Evil Dud Light Switches™.
Resident Evil Bespoke Complex Door Puzzles™ – £29.99 to £249.99
Why have doors that open easily with the handle like regular doors that everyone has and have worked for literally hundreds of years when you could pay to have an obscure puzzle door that requires further context to open. We have a range of bespoke designs for your own home including number pads, weird jigsaws, and lining up shadows. They’re sure to delight and frustrate your guests, and make getting up in the middle of the night for a wee an endlessly tense experience! Let’s hope you have a good memory!
Resident Evil Mannequin Finger™